Brit Brit and Federleezy

An impersonation of Britney Spears (voiced by Producer Alex) and her notorious ex-hubby during which Kevin and Bean would mock the latest mishap in their relationship and K-Fed’s supposed rap career. Ironically, the spoof rap songs by Psycho Mike as “Federleezy” were far superior to the actual ‘music’ made by Federline. Following a caller’s suggestion that the impersonation was actual done by Ashton Kutcher, Kevin and Bean often credit Kutcher for the other impersonations that Psycho Mike does.

Brow Down

Psycho Mike’s parody of hip hop song “Bow Down” in which Mike mocks hirsute intern “Brow” and Armenian stereotypes in general. Lightning’s accompanying video generated thousands of angry comments on You Tube.

Butterball Hotline, The

Every Thanksgiving, Kevin and Bean call in to get advice from the turkey company, often leading to a disastrous, unintentionally funny bit. Bean longs for the annual call while Kevin dreads it.

Carolla, Adam

(updated 10/21/09)
A popular radio and TV personality who got his start as a contributor on the Kevin and Bean Show. Adam eventually became competition to K&B when he got his own morning show that took over Howard Stern’s spot in L.A. and in several other western cities. When that show was eventually canceled, Adam segued into a popular podcast and a weekly segment on K&B called “This Week in Rage”.

Cinco De La Tarde

Starting in early 2009, the last hour of the Kevin and Bean Show was broadcast from 5 pm to 6 pm instead of from 9 am to 10 am. The afternoon version tends to feature much more music than the morning version, but since the show is pre-recorded and edited, the crew (especially Ralph) is more inclined to use profanity that can be beeped out.

C.O.F.F.E.E.

Ralph character Bruce Endicott is the head of “Caucasian Organization For Friendship Enveloping Everyone (C.O.F.F.E.E.)” an organization of white people dedicated to promoting racial harmony. Unfortunately, Bruce is behind the times and often makes well-meaning suggestions that are politically incorrect, if not completely racist.

Connery, Sean

As voiced by Ralph, the famous actor is a foul-mouthed, debauched and grumpy old man who loves to mock Kevin and Bean and anybody else who might cross his path.  Especially Daniel Craig, the actor currently playing James Bond.

Cleo, Miss

A phone screener for the show, her on-air nickname is derived from her Egyptian heritage (as in Cleopatra) and also serves as a easy reminder of her large breasts (referred to as pyramids). A young woman raised in the era of Microsoft “Spell Check”, she has been found to be an absolutely atrocious speller.

Cruising Through Life

Ralph’s impersonation of Tom Cruise hosts a call-in advice segment expounding the benefits of vitamins, excercise and homoeroticism. Ralph’s impersonation riffs on the interview that Cruise gave to Matt Lauer where he used phrases like “don’t be glib”, “I’ve done the research” and “____ is being used as a street drug”.

Cucamonga Heat

An admittedly poor student film project involving DJ Omar Khan. An attempt at hip, Tarantino-style crime drama, the “film” was a short-term object of mockery on the show, but segments of Omar’s rapid-fire onscreen phone conversation of a fake drug deal resurface from time to time, especially “Double cross!” and, when any listeners named Eric call in, “Hey Yeah Eric”.

Dawan

A mentally challenged listener who occasionally calls in to talk about his love for Drew Barrymore. During the 2005 NFL season, he picked weekly football games as part of the show’s demonstration that office pools are entirely random because somebody with no knowledge of football will often get lucky.

In subsequent years, Dawan’s show participation has increased, primarily due to his being universally loved by members of the show.  Dawan is fond of the “90210″ and “Melrose Place” reboots and often relies on Psycho Mike to do favors for him, including planing his birthday parties.

Decider, The

Filmmaker Kevin Smith, a long-time friend of the show, often serves as the judge when an issue, especially related to pop culture, divides the show. Everybody agrees to accept the Decider’s decision as final.