A Kevin and Bean Glossary

909, The

Posted in 909, The by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

The guys often mock the Inland Empire area of southern California (which previously had the area code 909) for being a home to meth labs and trailer trash. On one April Fool’s Day, the show staged a fake Blink 182 concert in the area as an “apology”, sending many 909ers on a frantic search for the bogus event.

Act That Dare Not Speak Its Name, The

Posted in Act That Dare Not Speak Its Name, Alex, King of Mexico, Psycho Mike by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

When plans were hatched for Dave and Alex to spend the night at Psycho Mike’s home, Kevin and Ralph bet Mike that he wouldn’t make a certain deposit of bodily fluids on the face of one of his guests while they slept. The next day, Alex was disgusted to learn that Psycho Mike won the bet at her expense.

AFRO Line, The

Posted in AFRO Line, Lightning by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

Kevin and Bean’s voicemail line, which is (323) 520-AFRO. Callers dial up this number to leave their rants, jokes, puerile noises, and other commentary, which sometimes makes it on the air.

Alex, Producer

Posted in Alex, Current staff by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

A woman behind the scenes whose on-air contributions are usually limited to voicing “Britney Spears” and occasionally relating her own various sexual experiences, earning her the light-hearted nickname of “Whore” (or “Superwhore” as she’s known on the Christmas CD “Super Christmas”).

Alex was promoted to producer circa April 2008 and prior to that was referred to as “Assistant Producer Alex”, a moniker that occasionally slips out now.

Almost Acoustic Christmas

Posted in Almost Acoustic Christmas by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

A pair of annual concerts held at the relatively small Gibson Amphitheater featuring several bands that could sell out much larger venues on their own. The enormous gap between the demand to see the concerts and the small amount of tickets available leads to great anguish among listeners, especially when tickets sell out in seconds while scalpers have free access to dozens of tickets in advance. Kevin and Bean typically complain about being blamed for such disparity, yet continue to promote the concerts as if their lives depended on it, through live mentions, overly produced commercials, and call-in interviews with the performers, all of which would ordinarily indicate to listeners that they actually have a chance to attend.

A month?

Posted in Lightning by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

Anytime somebody mentions the phrase “a month” during casual conversation, other people on the show inevitably repeat the phrase in question form, “a month?” with a corny impersonation of Lightning’s voice. The practice comes from Lightning’s ubiquitous A.I.S. commercials during which he talks to a listener and reacts with fake surprise about how much money the listener was able to save each month.

Anna?

Posted in Anna?, Lightning by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

Upon the death of Anna Nicole Smith, a bit was produced by Lightning where “KROQ microphones” were supposedly on the scene to record Anna Nicole’s collapse. The closing seconds of the bit include Lightning as a bystander who asks “Anna?” in an unusally deep voice. The riff has since been extended to include clips of “Cow?” (after one of Bean’s farm animals), “Captain?” (after the the comicbook death of Captain America), and “Buzz?” (presuming Bean bored Buzz Aldrin to death).

April Fool’s Day

Posted in April Fool's Day by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

Every April 1st the show will broadcast a hoax, usually in an attempt to lure fans to events that do not exist (The Mall of America in Orange, A free Blink 182 concert, Ralph’s Bachelor Party). They have also in the past broadcast an entire show of Pirate Radio’s Shannon in the Morning (former LA radio show), as well as running the typical Saturday morning show to throw off listeners.

Armenian Comedian, The

Posted in Armenian Comedian by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

Sam the Armenian Comedian is a poor comic of unlimited confidence, he believes he is incredibly talented regardless of how often he’s told otherwise. Also known to dabble in ventriloquism and heavy metal music, with similarly dismal results. His appearances are often train wrecks of unintentional comedy that only Kevin appreciates. Makes his living as a hair dresser.

Basement, The

Posted in Basement, The, Lisa May by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

When Lisa May is a bit too strident in her opinions, she is banished to “the basement”, which essentially means her microphone is turned off and the sound effect of a heavy, squeaky-hinged door closing is played.

Beer Mug

Posted in Beer Mug, Former staff by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

A former K&B intern who went on to be employed by the station, he is best known for leaving drunken messages on the AFRO line and for being willing to do just about anything to entertain the Kevin and Bean audience. Beer Mug’s exploits include various eating world record attempts (he never comes close), snorting various substances (including Hot Cheetos) and his willingness to be tasered on the air (which management vetoed). His nickname comes from a tattoo he has on his foot.

Bloodbath

Posted in Bloodbath, Ralph by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

Early in Ralph’s acting career, he played the heavy in an After School Special involving athletes who were tempted to throw a game. In the final confrontation, when the hero decides to back out of the plan, Ralph’s key line is “you just made it a bloodbath.”