A Kevin and Bean Glossary

Garman, Ralph

Posted in Current staff, Ralph by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

The Man of 1,000 Voices (Bush, Gore, Cruise, Pacino, Michael Jackson, the Pope, Jerry Lewis, Dylan are just some), Ralph covers the regular entertainment news segments and often acts as a substitute when Kevin or Bean is not present. He is also known to unleash hilariously bitter rants aimed at Kevin, Bean, 7-11 coffee lids, random celebrity stupidity, country music, and Joan freakin’ Rivers. A recurring joke at Ralph’s expense refers to his spending nearly 2 months filming “Two for the Money” with Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey, only to have all but a few minutes of screen-time cut from the movie. He is also a Philadelphia native and a rabid Philadelphia Eagles fan. Ralph is a collector of Batman-related memorabilia and pines for the day when the 60’s television when finally be released on DVD.

Ralph is the unofficial sex expert on the show as he previously worked for Playboy TV and dated a porn star. For some time he hosted a weekly segment on the show called “Sex U.” which attempted to address sexual issues in an earnest and informative manner. The segment became one of the most notable victims of the FCC crackdown following the Janet Jackson “wardrobe malfunction”.

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5 Responses

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  1. Farhad said, on May 9, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    The reason I listen to the show.

  2. Rey said, on May 20, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    What’s with the barking seals??? I’m guessing it’s an inside joke… I don’t think it originated on-air???

  3. Aaron Burr said, on May 21, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Ralph’s “performing seals” refers to an audio clip of a woman — trying to make this PG-13 — with something deep in her throat. The resulting sound is very similar to a barking seal.

    Incidentally, Lisa May isn’t actually a sword swallower, if you catch my drift…

  4. Scot said, on August 18, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Ralph’s impressions suck! The station is changed when they do a fake phone call with him!

  5. tina brave said, on June 26, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    Ralph plays a birthday song song by a guy pronouncing it burtday. Is there any information in how that come to be?


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