A Kevin and Bean Glossary

Act That Dare Not Speak Its Name, The

Posted in Act That Dare Not Speak Its Name, Alex, King of Mexico, Psycho Mike by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

When plans were hatched for Dave and Alex to spend the night at Psycho Mike’s home, Kevin and Ralph bet Mike that he wouldn’t make a certain deposit of bodily fluids on the face of one of his guests while they slept. The next day, Alex was disgusted to learn that Psycho Mike won the bet at her expense.

Hot Bell, The

Posted in Bean, Ding!, Hot Bell, Kevin, King of Mexico by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

Bean often rings a bell at the mention of an attractive woman’s name. The practice extends to when callers specifically greet Lisa May, usually with a suggestive tone. At one point, a children’s bicycle bell was used when attractive but underage stars were mentioned, such as the Olsen Twins and Lindsey Lohan. The cowbell is also used for larger women like Oprah Winfrey.

Bean’s judgment in using the bell has come into question at points, leading to debates over whether a particular woman (such as Hayden Panettiere) is “bell worthy”. Kevin has also taken to playing a backward-playing bell sound effect to undo Bean ringing the bell for people such as Zac Efron and Betty White.

In April 2009, a gong sound effect was introduced for use with unattractive women (i.e. Kirsten Dunst). The possible use of a Chewbacca growl as a negative bell was suggested, but Dave the King of Mexico’s attempt to make such a noise was hilariously weak. An actual clip of the Star Wars character has since been used.

No-Game Game, The

Posted in King of Mexico, Miss Double December, No-Game Game by Aaron Burr on March 9, 2007

The name Dave the King of Mexico gives to his strategy for picking up women, which is essentially doing nothing at all. The term is most often used when attractive guests such as Kristen Bell and Hayley from Paramore show affection for Dave. Such attention never leads to a date, however, and is often attributed to Dave’s non-threatening nature and his tendency to be viewed as “one of the girls”, rather than anything Dave might have done deliberately. The No-Game Game did, however, gain a degree of credibility in the winter of 2007-2008, when Dave inexplicably hooked up with beautiful Yasmine, a former Miss Double-December, after a “girls night out”. Said hook-up and the resulting relationship is also known as “9/11 Part II” due to its shocking and life-altering consequences.